realizations

         Today, as I was driving around town, trying to kill time till my pizza was ready to be picked up, I decided to get ice cream at this cute little shop I'd heard about. I stepped in at it was like stepping back in time. There were antiques every where, a bar with those old bar stools that you don't see very often anymore, and this sweet looking old lady standing behind the bar. She said hi and asked what she could get for me. When I told her that I had never been there before and thus, didn't know what I wanted, she looked shocked and slightly aghast and asked where I was from. I said "here". "But this is our eleventh summer!" she exclaimed "how could you have never been here before?" I just shrugged but that question got to me. "How could you have never been here before?" I didn't know the answer. Then I realized that there were actually a lot of places in our little village that I had never been to before. The answer to the question, I now realize, is that I was always too busy. Too rushed to get somewhere and be bored that I had never took the time to explore. To show interest in my own hometown. I have never read the local paper (we get ours from the nearest big city which is close to an hour away), I had never walked down the sidewalk on a lazy afternoon. I have never played Frisbee in the park. Then I made another decision. I am going on a mission. I will entitle my mission: Mission Ascertain Erudition. My mission begins tomorrow.
       But now I have a longing. I long to be able to breeze through school. I ache to be old enough to get a full time job that I might not even like. I yearn to rent a tiny house with a backyard for  my dogs and a small herb garden and some flowers. A house that I can turn into my masterpiece. Decorated to my liking with miss matched furniture and a blue and yellow tile kitchen where I can perfect the art of gourmet cooking. A house that I pay for and I clean and is mine. I itch to have my own car that I can use without feeling guilty for putting miles on or getting dog hair in. One that I chose when that film of grit become too much and decide needs washing.
    
        The sun has set, the dogs have eaten and are bedded down for the night, the lights are turned down, and the night grows chill. Showers are to be had and a bed is meant to be slept in. An alarm anticipates awakening me. A sunrise is designed to be witnessed. A God aspires to be worshiped.
       Tomorrow, I will rise with that alarm, I will witness that sunrise, and I will worship that God.